Shard narcissism as delusion of unembededness

Epistemic status: Speculative TL;DR: Narcissism in Lasch's sense is unhappiness with the essential embeddedness of agency in our universe, "solved" by a denial of agency that leads to non-agency.Three examples Person. A works long hours. For years, they've wanted to find a long-term relationship, but they don't have much time to find candidates, so they have a Tinder date around once a month.Person B has immigrant parents but doesn't speak the inheritance language. They want to learn it to connect with their roots. A perfect occasion to learn it appears, but they don't make time for it.Person C is very popular. Many people want to spend time with them, and above a minimum threshold they accept all proposals to hang out. They feel unhappy about how they end up distributing their hanging out time.What do these people have in common?[1]What is narcissism?Christopher Lasch[2] defines narcissism as the emotional[3] incapacity to accept the inevitable limits to the self imposed by the world. Lasch explores different aspects of his concept of narcissism:In a social context in which some social roles (for instance, family relationships) imply some duties, one is determined by such duties. If I live in such a context and my mother Alice is sick, and it is social fact that I have to take care of her, then I am determined=limited by this duty, even if I don't fulfill it.[4] One aspect of narcissism is the aversion towards such identity-defining relationships.[5]Another aspect of narcissism is irony, in a very broad sense. If I have been working as a waiter for years, then I am determined=limited by the fact that I am a waiter and not any of the more glamorous jobs than I could have. One narcissistic defense against this is to see myself as somehow who, yes, happens to work as a waiter, but doesn't take their job seriously (doesn't take pride in doing their job great, for instance), and thus is not really a waiter.[6] The narcissist doesn't see themselves as one finite history, bu