When Should You Say Goodbye to a Pet?
Key takeaways
- Veterinary visits were for vaccinations and acute illnesses, not wellness checks.
- But, over time, Kennedy noticed, more people began to view pets as children or partners or therapists, companions who soothed them in a way that others could not.
- As a palliative-care physician, I was intrigued by the idea of pet hospice, which has burgeoned as people have struggled to answer these questions.
Illustration by Wesley Allsbrook Save this story Save this story Save this story Save this story When Jessamyn Kennedy began veterinary school, about twenty years ago, hardly anyone put their pets in day care or called them fur babies. Nobody brought dogs to brunch. Veterinary visits were for vaccinations and acute illnesses, not wellness checks. And, when pets suffered from cancer or heart failure or debility, conversations about what to do next were emotional but often straightforward. “We didn’t have some of the therapies we have now, but people were also more reasonable about what they were willing to put their pets through,” Kennedy told me. “They’d say, ‘Well, he’s a dog, so why would we put him through surgery that he doesn’t understand?’ ”
But, over time, Kennedy noticed, more people began to view pets as children or partners or therapists, companions who soothed them in a way that others could not. Pet birthday parties and TV shows for dogs started to proliferate; veterinary practice became increasingly subspecialized, populated by nephrologists, oncologists, and cardiologists. Pets now had access to interventions like dialysis and chemotherapy, which changed how long they could live, and introduced new uncertainty, for their owners, about how to recognize that they were dying. In the nineteen-seventies, hospice care evolved as more people resisted the compulsion to extend life at all costs, preferring instead to focus on dying comfortably, often at home. Now caring for a sick pet involved the same questions: What is a good quality of life? How much suffering is too much? And when is the right time to let go?
As a palliative-care physician, I was intrigued by the idea of pet hospice, which has burgeoned as people have struggled to answer these questions. I first heard of it in 2021, when a neighbor told me he’d used the service to care for his dog, who was experiencing kidney failure and laboring to breathe. His hospice veterinarian prescribed medications that eased the dog’s breathing, but what my neighbor most valued was what Kennedy described as the heart of her work: teaching people what the process of dying looks like for animals.