How to say no without burning bridges

You know the feeling we are talking about. Your friend calls to ask for your help moving on a Saturday when you were planning on doing nothing. Or your sister-in-law asks you to invest in her business, and you are afraid there is no way it will succeed. Even when the person asking for the favor isn’t someone central to your life, it is still painful to say no. Most of us don’t even like saying no to telemarketers. That’s why there are so many jobs in sales. Often, we end up making bad decisions to avoid the short-term discomfort of turning people down. Look, we agree—saying no is hard. The good news is that a little preparation and practice will make it easier. Even if you are one of those people that dreads it. We will look at different kinds of ‘no’s’ that are appropriate in different situations. Sometimes, there is a clear answer, and you want the other person to accept your offer without complaint. Your kids, for example, should know there is no argument about bedtime. Your boss needs to accept that you can’t work late anymore after coming back from maternity leave. The sooner they accept the reality, the happier everyone will be. Other times, you might be willing to be persuaded. You like the job offer, but the salary could be better. In that case, you might want to say no in a way that encourages them to try again or try harder. You Can Say No Nicely While being able to give a flat, unequivocable no is an important skill to develop, it’s not the goal. Usually, we want to be more polite, even if we find another’s proposal unattractive. Why? Because we never know when we will want to revisit that now-closed door. Preserving the relationship can allow a chance to revisit in the future, and we always like to maintain future opportunities if possible. The standard way to be respectful is to help someone learn why you aren’t interested. Here’s the problem with that: When you tell the reason you are turning them down, you give them information that they can use to ma