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The truth about narcissists — and why most people get it wrong

ABC Australia · Jun 27, 2026, 6:45 PM · Also reported by 1 other source

Key takeaways

  • The term narcissist has become the defining insult of our age.
  • But the word is thrown around, and “grossly misused” argues Debbie Mirza, author of The Covert Passive Aggressive Narcissist: Recognising the Traits and Finding Healing.
  • “People often use this word to describe someone who is selfish and arrogant,” but anyone who has experienced a true narcissist would never use the label so lightly, she says.

Why this matters: an international story with cross-border implications worth tracking.

Link copied Share Share article. The label is everywhere – from reality TV to relationship advice and even the US president. But psychologists say true narcissistic personality disorder is rare, complex and often misunderstood.

The term narcissist has become the defining insult of our age. It can seem like a convenient catch-all for various kinds of crappy human behaviour as everyday selfishness, arrogance and even abuse is labelled narcissistic. It’s become pop psychology, something to call your ex, (or the US president). Suddenly, everyone is a narcissist.

But the word is thrown around, and “grossly misused” argues Debbie Mirza, author of The Covert Passive Aggressive Narcissist: Recognising the Traits and Finding Healing.

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