The perfect Mother’s Day gift won’t cost you a cent

When Anna Jarvis set out to establish a national Mother’s Day in the early 20th century, her goal was to honor her own mother’s legacy of activism, sacrifice, and maternal devotion. She envisioned a national day of gratitude where all Americans expressed their thanks and admiration for their own mothers. But just a few short years after successfully getting official recognition for the holiday, Jarvis was horrified to see Mother’s Day commercialized to benefit florists and greeting card companies. Jarvis petitioned to recall the holiday she had championed. One imagines Jarvis banging her head against the wall if she could see us now, since Mother’s Day spending continues to metastasize. The National Retail Federation anticipates $38 billion in spending for Mother’s Day in 2026, which translates to $284 in per person spending. That’s quite a lot of roses, mimosas, and Hallmark cards. But for all the money spent in preparation for the second Sunday in May, what the majority of mothers, wives, and girlfriends really want might not cost a cent. Women are asking for a break from the mental load—aka, the cognitive labor required to keep a household running smoothly. Unfortunately, many partners and children would prefer to simply buy something (or let Mom buy her own gift) because easing her mental load is a lot more work. This Mother’s Day, if you truly want to show your appreciation for the mothers in your life, take a page from Anna Jarvis. Here’s how: Understand Mom’s mental load The term mental load got mainstream attention in 2017 when the comic “You Should Have Asked” by French artist Emma went viral. The term refers to the ongoing mental to-do list for family, household, and personal upkeep that (primarily) women carry at all times. This mental load might include things like recognizing that the household is nearly out of toilet paper, thinking about which camps to sign the kids up for, remembering that the soccer uniform needs to be laundered before t