My four-year break from booze has led to an unexpected discovery

Natalie feels like she has "shed a skin" to reveal her whole personality: braver and bolder. (Supplied) Link copiedShareShare articleWhat started out as a pregnancy four years ago has turned into a game with myself to see how long I can go without alcohol. The main question people ask me is, "do you feel healthier?" If I'm honest, not really. I'm no fitter. There is, however, one major change that I was not expecting — I got to know myself. Giving up alcohol was extremely out of character for me. I never had an overt problem with alcohol. I did, however, spend my early career as a journalist in Kalgoorlie, where drinking is a social sport, then in Broome, where alcohol is seen as part of the social fabric. In the gap between having my first and second child, I would reward myself for getting through a tough day of parenting by opening a good bottle of shiraz. And once it's open, who was I to let that bottle go off? I'd spend the week working my way through it. But after a forced nine-month break from drinking alcohol, and the realisation that I didn't really miss it, I decided to see how long this feeling would last. Initially, I was sheepish about going to the bar and refusing a drink. I thought my friends would assume I was pregnant, or trying for a baby. In the early months of going alcohol-free, people would ask if I was "back on the booze yet". Or they'd push me to have "just one drink". What have you given up and what did you learn about yourself in the process? We'd love to hear from you. Eventually they lost interest and gave up, and that's when the penny dropped — they don't really care if I'm drinking or not because they've got the same person with or without the booze. Once that pressure and stigma dissipated, it was as if I had shed a skin to reveal my whole personality: braver and bolder. I discovered I'm the same person on the dance floor with a soda that I am at midnight, four wines deep. When it became obvious who my real, no-pressure friends were, I could clearly see who I should spend time with. My social circle shifted and activities changed. I'd go out to see the people and it became less about the place. Natalie (right) with her friend and colleague, Erin. (Supplied) The fun I have on the dance floor with friends late at night is real and lasting and I can remember it the next day without fact-checking in a Sunday debrief session. I also started to notice that people around me were slowly drinking less alcohol, too. Maybe it was because they had no-one to drink with, or maybe they just needed to see someone do it to realise that no-one really cares if you're drinking or not. My experiment began rubbing off on other aspects of my life. Emboldened by my new ability to say no, I seemed to care less about what people thought of me and stopped doing things unless I wanted to. And the more that has happened, the stronger I feel. It's a sense of freedom that comes with pushing social boundaries without ramifications. Don't get me wrong, I do occasionally miss a red wine and I have an inkling I'll pick up a "real glass" again one day. But there's power in knowing that it'll be on my terms and on an occasion that I deem worth ending my game for. Having a drink — any non-alcoholic drink — in a wine glass tricks my brain into thinking I'm doing what everyone else is doing. It also stops people being so quick to ask if I "need anything from the bar". Swapping wine for a soda water also has its financial benefits. (Supplied) Volunteering up front that I'm "not drinking right now" for an innocent reason like "playing a game with my willpower" takes the wind out of people who were suspicious about whether I was pregnant or not. It's a great time to be alcohol-free: there are heaps of "fake beers" and "fake wines" on the market now that satisfy thirst, even compared with just five years ago when I was first pregnant. And I'm richer – literally. Soda water with a slice of lemon is often free at the pub and I have saved so much money not buying bottles of wine. It's also refreshing to park out the front of a venue in the rain, or just drive home when I get bored or tired. I didn't foresee how nice it would feel to be able to offer friends a lift home. There's so much less waiting around: no lining up at the bar or for the toilets. Not drinking alcohol has been a great conversation starter and it's empowering when people say, "good for you". Getting to know the strength of my willpower leads me to wonder what else I'm capable of. Copy linkFacebookX (formerly Twitter)Top StoriesWhy Chalmers's budget will rein in the property free-for-allIAnalysis by Ian Verrender

My four-year break from booze has led to an unexpected discovery

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