Urzila Carlson thinks your mum is funny, and you should too

Comedian Urzila Carlson is a regular in the stand-up world, but now she's bringing her brand of sketch comedy to TV screens. (Supplied: ABC TV) Link copiedShareShare articleShe's bawdy, cheeky and funny enough to score her own special, but Urzila Carlson still gets nervous before a performance. Although she got her start in comedy later in life, the comedian doesn't believe in regret. If an opportunity comes up, she says she will take it, despite the nerves. Together with a reluctance to return to her day job in advertising ("that's what keeps me motivated to stay in stand-up"), it means the South African-born comedian is this year preparing for not one, but two shows on ABC TV. Her first — a sketch comedy titled Urzila — brings her stand-up to the small screen. The second, with fellow comedian Nazeem Hussein, is a comedy series about paramedics coming later this year. Drop straight into comedic chaos as stand-up funny woman Urzila Carlson ricochets between live stand-up and bombastic sketches in her first stand-up comedy sketch show. We caught up with Urzila to find out about her work husband, the first time she made audiences laugh and why she doesn't care how you vote. I was born in South Africa, biggest baby ever born in the Queen Victoria Hospital in Johannesburg to this date, mainly because the hospital closed down shortly after I was born. And then I moved to New Zealand when I was 30 or 31– 20 years ago — and I've been in New Zealand ever since. I live in Auckland. I was on the North Shore for three weeks and I went, 'It's not for me.' And then got a place in West Auckland and I've been here ever since. I fly in and out [of Australia], and all the Australians think I live there. I have no plans to ever move to Australia because New Zealand has no poisonous anything. We have nothing that can kill you. And you guys have the huntsman spider. I don't need to say any more. Urzila Carlson worked in advertising before becoming a stand-up comic. (Supplied: ABC TV) I didn't move to the other side of the world to live with South Africans again. I want to live with Kiwis. I want to meet Kiwis. I have nothing against South Africans, obviously, but if I wanted to live in a South African community, I would have stayed where I lived. I was 23, had never been out of the country and I got the opportunity to go. I nannied. The family that I nannied for were both colonels in the army and they had one little boy, and I was like, that sounds a hell of a lot easier than the five kids my friend's got. I was in Texas and I loved it. But the vibe in Texas is sort of the same everywhere really. I don't agree with their overriding politics, and I don't get into that when I'm there for work. I don't need to talk to you about your politics. Same as when I'm in Australia, I'm not a political comic. I don't need to know how you vote or where you pray. My mother says don't talk about politics, religion or money. And that's how I approach my stand-up. Urzila Carlson says if you don't find women funny you are a "poor bastard". (Supplied: ABC TV) I worked in advertising. And my work husband, Leon, went, 'You're so funny, you have to go do stand-up.' He's English … they love comedy. I'd never even been to a stand-up comedy show in my life! So, when I left to go to a different agency, he was in charge of my gift … He got me an Italian coffee maker and a fake contract to go to an open mic night at The Classic, which is the only dedicated comedy club in New Zealand. I signed the contract. I'd only been in New Zealand for two years and I didn't want to look like I wasn't a good sport. He booked it in and there were like 70 people from the agency going … I went home that weekend and, because it's a five-minute spot, I wrote four minutes of material thinking I'd give them one minute to laugh, which I now realise is extremely arrogant. I wrote the material, the Monday came and I was so nervous, I just sat in my car until it was time, and then I went in, did the time and it went all right. Everyone was laughing. Urzila Carlson with her "work husband", Leon. (Supplied) I get a call the next day from the owner of the club to say that I'm through to the next round. And I'm like, 'I don't know what that means but no thanks. I'm never coming back.' He goes, 'You should come back. Do it again. Don't tell anyone. Just come and see how it goes.' So I went back, I didn't even tell Leon ... but I was hooked. I was petrified — I'm still petrified every time I go out — but just that thrill … people laughing. It was so satisfying. I made it to the finals and that year I won New Zealand's best newcomer. I always credit him. There are other people who go, 'I also told her [to become a comedian]'. No you didn't, mate. People who deserve the credit never want the credit. But it wouldn't even have crossed my mind if he didn't force the issue. He lives in Gibraltar now and I saw him last year when I did my UK tour. He came to two of

Urzila Carlson thinks your mum is funny, and you should too

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