How to show up at work when your life is falling apart

I sat in my car staring at the front door of the community mental health center, questioning if I could walk in. If anyone saw me, they might have assumed I was a patient struggling to face my mental health issues head-on in treatment. But I wasn’t. I was the therapist who was struggling to find the courage to walk in the door. My husband had passed away unexpectedly just two months before, at the age of 26. After my three days of bereavement time, I wasn’t in any shape to return to work. Fortunately, my doctor diagnosed me with “acute stress disorder” and bought me two months of short-term disability. I still didn’t feel ready to go back to work but my mortgage bill didn’t care how I felt. As I sat there in my car, I gave myself the same advice I’d given my therapy clients for decades, “You don’t have to feel strong to be strong. You just need to focus on what to do right now.” And with that, I got out of the car and walked into the office to face my workday. My situation isn’t unique though. At some point, most of us have to show up at work when our lives are falling apart. In fact, it’s during the hardest times in life that we often need the money and the benefits the most. Yet, we rarely talk about how to stay professional when you’ve got pressing personal problems. As a therapist who’s been there, I assure you that you can hold down your job even when you’re dealing with stressful personal circumstances as long as you have reliable strategies to get you through each day. Just like a good coach walks into the game with a playbook, you need workplace plays that will help you stay mentally strong when you aren’t sure how to get through the moment. Here are three mental strength plays that got me through that day—and that I still use now. 1. Schedule Time to Worry I had a lot to worry about after being widowed. How would I pay the bills this month? When would I find time to get an oil change? What if that noise the furnace is making means it’s on the fritz? S