The Locals Don't Know

My best piece of travel advice is to avoid doing what the locals do. Look, I’ve read (and watched) Bourdain. I love almost everything he made. And Bourdain is the kind of guy people point to when they tell you to do what the locals do. But ironically, what Bourdain and people like him did is not what the locals do. Or not anymore, at least. Maybe this sounds odd. Maybe you and I do not share the same vision of “the locals”. And perhaps the locals used to be great people to model your vacations after, back in “the glory days,” whatever that means and if they ever really existed. But today I imagine you visiting my hometown and spending a day with the locals. You’d probably end up watching reality TV, ordering some ‘New American’ food on Doordash (it’s a cheeseburger with Korean Kimchi Glaze™), and sports betting from your phone. Then you would have a beer or two and feel bad about losing your bets, and go to sleep. That’s a pretty negative view of people. It’s also not a completely inaccurate one. Even in locations and societies that are not as degenerate as Anytown, USA, even in places like Finland where people are (or claim to be) happy all of the time, the average day for the average local is not very interesting. They probably haven’t visited their world-famous local museum in ten years. They might grab some mediocre Mexican food on the outskirts of Helsinki because they already eat Finnish food at home and want something different. They might hang out with some friends at the Kaivopuisto park. Maybe they would go on a hike? What I’m getting at here is that, even in the best case, the locals are usually not having very exciting (or very ‘authentic’) days. And then you have the tourist. Bright-eyed, eager, and fresh off a rewatch of their favorite Rick Steves episodes, the tourist is the most naive person to ever arrive in the city. The tourist has not spent decades fitting themselves into a jaded but comfortable box named Life In The City. The tourist, more than any local, can really do whatever they want. Want to go do all the touristy stuff and see the museums? Great. Do it. Want to take a cheesy photo in front of some famous building? Wonderful. Want to ditch all the touristy stuff and just do some kind of weird crazy adventure, like walking across the city in a day or playing hide and seek or competing with your friends to see who can buy the coolest item for 10 bucks? Do it. You, the tourist, can then have a splendid time and go home and tell your family and friends about how nice Finland was and how excited you are to go back. While you were doing all of this, by the way, the random local we chose earlier was playing Slay the Spire 2 indoors.1 I remember once walking along a lake in a town where people could rent small wooden canoes or paddleboats and go out to enjoy the water. The local I was with said “meh, what a tourist trap.” I looked at the local making a face, and I looked at the tourist couple in the boat nearest to us smiling at each other and paddling out into the lake towards the sunset, and I wondered: which one of us is trapped?2 Because it seems to me like those tourists are having a great time. (P.S. if you are a local, you can do all of this too.) 2Tourism can obviously have a lot of negative effects, one of which is that it can reduce the quality of things. I’m skeptical of the term tourist trap (it’s mostly used as a term to place yourself as higher status/taste than other people, and is often used out of insecurity) but there are plenty of restaurants that are lower quality as a result of tourism, for example. Maybe don’t eat at the place with the huge photos of food outside and the English menus. Other than that, enjoy.

The Locals Don't Know

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