This is the feedback mistake that experienced leaders keep making
Most leaders spend a considerable amount of time thinking about what they will say when giving feedback. They carefully choose their words, rehearse the conversation in their head, and worry about how the other person might react. Will they get defensive? Disagree? Become upset? However, these should not be the most important considerations. The better questions are: What outcome am I trying to achieve? And how can I tailor my communication to increase my chances of achieving it? Of course, you can’t control how someone receives your feedback. Every person brings their own experiences, beliefs, insecurities, emotions, and communication preferences into a conversation. You can, however, influence it by being more intentional about how you communicate. Here are five reasons your feedback may not be having the impact you hoped for. 1. You’re not making your intention clear Feedback should be for the person, not about the person. The goal of feedback should always be to help someone learn, grow, improve, or develop—not to blame, shame, or punish. Too often, we don’t explicitly express positive intention. That’s a mistake. When we don’t explain why we’re having the conversation, people fill in the blanks themselves. They assume we’re frustrated, disappointed, or criticizing them. If you have a genuine intention to help, you can’t make people guess. Start with why. A simple statement like, “I’m raising this because I want to help you be successful,” can completely change the context of the conversation. When people understand your intent, they’re more likely to engage with the message rather than defend themselves against it. 2. You’re focusing on the message instead of the audience Many people spend considerable time preparing the message they want to deliver, but very little time considering how to adapt it to the audience. They focus on what they want to say without giving enough thought to who they̵