The truth about being a manager
Key takeaways
- I vividly remember most of my own journey into engineering management over the years.
- You’ll bring work home with you more often than not.
- Even if you try to be one of the gang, you re not, the dynamic has shifted.
I vividly remember most of my own journey into engineering management over the years. Throughout my career, I’ve also mentored several people taking the step from engineer to engineering manager. It’s a challenging and often lonely journey, and here are a few truths most new managers realize the hard way. (If you aren’t a manager yourself, you might just learn a bit about your manager’s situation.)
You’ll bring work home with you more often than not. The difficult conversation you’re dreading, the stupid business decision you will need to explain to your team, the office politics you need to handle, or the team member struggling silently with a personal crises. You will need to learn how to manage stress and rumination – and you’ll need to learn it fast.
You re not part of the team anymore. You are the manager. Even if you try to be one of the gang, you re not, the dynamic has shifted. The team might not want you at their lunch every day (you’re welcome, but not always). They will have private conversations when you’re not there. They will talk about you behind your back, and that’s okay. You will feel the distance slowly but surely. The shift might start subtly, but after the first salary negotiation or the first tough decision, you will definitely feel it. You will probably miss being part of a team a lot.