'One and done': How parental burnout is affecting Australia's birth rate

Catherine Wade says parents across all demographics are struggling. (ABC News: Patrick Stone) A national survey of 10,000 parents has found almost 60 per cent are experiencing psychological distress , which is impacting the quality of time they spend with their children. Experts have warned this could have dramatic consequences, with calls for governments to do more to address cost-of-living pressures and housing affordability. The survey authors say some pressures can be alleviated by low-cost peer support and community-based solutions to combat loneliness and isolation. Link copiedShareShare articleAlmost 60 per cent of Australian parents are experiencing psychological distress with flow on effects to their children, according to the largest-ever national survey of parents. The report's authors said the good news for parents was that some of those problems could be alleviated through participation in community-based peer support programs. However, other experts warned poor parent mental health was partly to blame for the record-low birth rate and required a society wide response. The Parenting Today survey of 10,000 parents, conducted by the not-for-profit Parenting Research Centre late last year, found parents across all demographics were struggling with "loneliness, self-doubt and lack of self-compassion". "In addition, 45 per cent of Australia's parents [are] reporting moderate levels of psychological distress." Dr Wade said there had been a steady decline in parent mental health over the past decade and the research showed these struggles were "universal" and not confined to a single gender or income group. "The struggle and the juggle is real," she said. "When they're feeling under pressure themselves, they're less likely to do the sorts of parenting behaviours that we know children need to thrive, so they're more likely to get irritable with children." US surgeon general, Vivek Murthy recently declared modern parental stress to be an "urgent public health issue", directly linked to the wellbeing of children and the health of society. Gold Coast mum of four Sylvia Doherty can relate to the findings and the feelings of parental self judgement, particularly as her children have become teenagers. Sylvia Doughty (second from right) sometimes finds it hard to be emotionally available for her kids. (Supplied: Sylvia Doughty) "And you're not the best version of yourself either because life is so busy, and so full on. I find it hard to be emotionally available for the kids when they need it at times." Ms Doherty wanted to share her story to dispel the myths around perfect parenting and break the taboo about making mistakes. She said cost-of-living concerns ratcheted up the pressure with the family forced to cut back on small treats. "I am exhausted. I feel like I'm in survival mode all the time. I don't really feel like I'm living life," Ms Doherty said. Sylvia Doherty said she wanted to dispel the myths around perfect parenting. The fear that her children will never be able to afford to move out has also pushed the family to renovate their home so they can sell it and move into something bigger. Ms Doherty and her husband were doing the renovations themselves to save money, juggling it around their jobs. "I'm a lot more irritable with the kids. I'll just find myself losing it over a small thing. Just because life, there's so much pressure." The survey findings also struck a chord with Melbourne mum Nicole Tandy, whose son William is four years old. Nicole Tandy (middle) says she's happily "one and done". (ABC News: Patrick Stone) "I'm not surprised to hear that parents are struggling with their mental health. Before you become a parent, everyone speaks of the village that would be there to support you," Ms Tandy said. "But realistically, it feels like you're doing a lot of it by yourself." Ms Tandy has also harshly judged herself for not living up to an idealised view of parenting pushed by online influencers that ignores the reality of the daily grind. "The picture that I'm seeing on social media is people really loving it, thriving as a parent, and I love being a parent, but nobody's talking about how hard it is," Ms Tandy said. "They're all just suffering silently because there's no way that other people aren't struggling too." Nicole Tandy said she felt guilty if she missed important moments with her son William. (ABC News: Patrick Stone) Ms Tandy said she felt the stress meant she was missing important moments with her son. "That contributes to that feeling of shame and guilt. Like you're not doing a good enough job." The findings come with Australia's birth rate at a record low of 1.5 babies per woman. Ms Tandy said her mental health meant she was now "happily one and done" and will not have any more children. Experts have warned the challenges experienced by Australian parents were contributing to the "rock bottom" birth rate and they could have dramatic consequence

'One and done': How parental burnout is affecting Australia's birth rate

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