'Look Mum, one point': Why does the UK keep getting Eurovision wrong?

ShareSaveAdd as preferred on GoogleMark SavageMusic correspondent, Eurovision Song Contest, ViennaEPALook Mum No Computer - aka Sam Battle - tried his hardest, but Eurovision just wasn't in his graspAnother year, another flop. The UK has self-destructed at Eurovision all over again. Look Mum No Computer, aka musician Sam Battle, got one solitary point, ending up in last place. It's the third time we've been at the bottom of the table since 2020. We've made the top 10 once since 2010. This is the fourth consecutive year I've written a post-mortem on our failure. Believe me, I don't want to be here – but here we are. In the run-up to the contest, there was little hope that Sam's shouty synth-pop banger Eins, Zwei, Drei, would fare well. But the musician gave it his all, stomping around the stage in a bright pink boiler suit while singing about quitting his office job so he could go to Germany and count to three (I am not making this up). It was, as Graham Norton observed, "a big swing". If anything, our previous Eurovision entries played it too safe, pandering to a cliché of polished electro-pop. Sam was different. Eccentric and engaging, with the uncontainable energy of a shaken-up Coke bottle, he came up with a song that, for once, sounded uniquely British. "I have to applaud the BBC for the ambition," says Adrian Bradley of the Euro Trip podcast, which follows the competition's ups-and-downs. "They took a risk on something that maybe people won't like, but which some people might pick up the phone and vote for." "I think it's a very interesting song in terms of production," agrees Satoshi, who represented Moldova at this year's contest. "The distortion on the voice, the synths that he uses. Everything has that British imprint - but I can definitely see that it's not everyone's cup of tea." "What we're doing is Marmite," he told BBC News before the contest. "You either love it or hate it - but I think there's a slot open for our sort of thing." The song's hiccupy beat, and zany references to jam roly poly and custard left Europe bewildered. Juries awarded it one point. The public gave it zero. "I think the song, honestly, is not a great song for the UK," says Filippo Baglini, a journalist for the Italian station London One Radio. "The UK is the best at music all around the world. You have the Beatles and everything. So this is not good enough." "I really wish the BBC would take it more seriously," agrees Thomas Tammegger, an Austrian Eurovision fan, living in Denmark. "They look at it through a lens of it being a funny event and then you have to send novelty entries or joke entries and it never really does well. "When they do make an effort, like with Sam Ryder, voila! It's second place and it works." Ah yes, Sam Ryder. A drop of water in 15 years of drought. He was the runner-up in 2022, armed with the cunning plan of writing a good song – the 70s glam rock pastiche Space Man – and being good at performing it. Well, in the words of Will Young, who turned down the chance to represent the UK in 2015, Eurovision is considered a "poisoned chalice". No established recording artist wants to represent the UK in case it damages their career. When they do - like Olly Alexander in 2024 - they're stung by the reaction. Alexander, who went into debt to his record label to pay for the staging, called the experience "brutal" and advised future contestants to "get a good therapist". Since then, the BBC has relied on less-established talent. Both Look Mum No Computer and 2025 contestants Remember Monday are independent artists, without the backing of a major record label. When I explain the situation to other Eurovision contestants in Vienna, they're shocked. "In the UK there's a bad perception of representing your country at Eurovision?" asks a perplexed Satoshi. "Well, that's not good. "I can understand that the UK has delivered so many powerful acts to the world that you don't have to rely on Eurovision to get awareness, but I think it's a wonderful contest to emphasise your musical potential." Dara, who won the contest with her song Bangaranga, agrees. Aa a pop star with 10 years of hits under her belt, she says big artists need to shed their prejudices about Eurovision. "I don't know what's stopping them from experiencing this amazing place," she says. "You might be from bigger country than Bulgaria, but whatever. Don't be afraid to jump into a new reality, into risk, and to try new things. That's what makes life fun, and you will feel alive." The UK’s scorn for Eurovision is something Finland also used to struggle with. After Lordi's victory in 2006, the country experienced a devastating 15-year slump. In that time, Finland never made the top 10 again. On seven occasions, they even failed to qualify from the semi-finals. "We were pessimists for many years," says Katariina Kähkönen, a reporter at Finland's MTV Uutiset. "People were always like, 'No, it doesn't matter – the Eurovisio

'Look Mum, one point': Why does the UK keep getting Eurovision wrong?

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'Look Mum, one point': Why does the UK keep getting Eurovision wrong?

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