Researchers asked moms what they really want for Mother’s Day. The answer is heartbreaking

Mother’s Day is Sunday, and it’s not too late to get that perfect gift for Mom–time for herself. We conducted a survey through the Rutgers Center for Women in Business and asked 288 mothers to choose their ideal Mother’s Day gift from the following popular options: time for yourself, a family activity, or a physical gift, and then compared their responses to the 292 fathers we asked about Father’s Day. Overall, most parents want to celebrate their day by spending time with their families, with 69% of mothers and fathers choosing a shared family activity as their ideal gift. While the concept sounds heartwarming, it is less heartwarming that nearly 40% of mothers report making their own Mother’s Day reservations, adding to her already long “to do” list. However, a discrepancy emerged between what mothers and fathers wanted. Our survey found that for parents of children under 18, this desire for “me” time is greater for mothers than fathers. We found the biggest difference is among parents with school-aged children (ages 5–12): mothers are 2.4 times more likely than fathers to prefer time for themselves (41.7% mothers vs 17.6% fathers). By contrast, fathers are 1.5 times more likely to choose shared family activities (73.9% fathers vs 48.8% mothers). Physical gifts are the least popular option for both groups. We found that mothers reported significantly less free time (less time to rest and fewer chances to recharge) than fathers, and unsurprisingly mothers who reported less free time were significantly more likely to want time for themselves. In fact, parents, especially mothers, with young children (ages 0-4) reported having 1.5 times less free time than parents with adult children, highlighting just how demanding the early years of caregiving can be, especially for mothers. Mothers’ work status also shaped how much free time they felt they had. Full-time working mothers reported having the least amount of free time and were the most likely to say the best Mother’s